This is something you really should answer before dealing with a drunk kiss. Its hard to know what to say, especially if youre fuzzy about what happened. In my honest opinion, I think its cheating. I told him later that I thought it was misunderstood and apologized. is it normal to feel nothing when kissing someone? - Members I desperately try to explain that I never meant for it to happen, it had never happened before and I would never do it again, it didn't go any further and I just want things to go back to the way they were even though I know it won't! I certainly took full responsibility for my actions, and fortunately the guy I kissed also took responsibility for his actions. [Read: Have you accidentally kissed a friend and gotten away with it?]. Ive told her Im sorry, I wont let it happen again and Im sorry for being dishonest. [Read: How to know if a kiss meant something real 16 ways it isnt a fling]. These resources can offer additional guidance: No matter what steps you do or dont take after experiencing coercion, remember this: What happened was not your fault, and you deserve compassion and support. If it were my husband, I would be upset too, because that would be so out of character for the man I know. 8. Sometimes, coercion is pretty blatant. Its possible that alcohol has increased their sexual appetite, they spotted you across the dance floor and find you attractive, and theyre simply looking for a quick hookup. He cared less what families they belonged to if they worked in the same positions, they had the same contract rules to follow. Neither scenario is an excuse for doing it. I was devastated. I was surprised by his reaction, but I shook my head and said it was nothing like that. So no head? If they wont drop the issue, its a good idea to leave or call a trusted friend or family member. The way I see things, there are innocent kisses, which occur when a person had too much to drink, and then there are guilty kisses, which are precipitated by getting drunk. How to get over a crush on your friend, Are you a user? If you were so drunk that you couldn't exercise the good judgment to not kiss the guy, you couldn't have exercised good enough judgment not to get behind the wheel of your car. If you drink so much that you lose track of everything, then you already took the first step on a dangerous road. Everyone has the right to decide when they do and dont want to have sex. We don't do greeting kiss BS up north , so in any case, it seems like the guy is getting a punch in the head if I see him doing any of those three. If you happen to be on the receiving end of the kiss, it can cause a ton of conflicting feelings. With or without the same seniority. [Read:You kissed your ex? There is no earthly reason that your partner needs to know chapter and verse of every indiscretion you ever engaged in. I really have a problem believing but forgave her and weve been together another 20 yrs now and have 15 grand children hasnt ever really bothered me but about 3 yrs ago it hit me like of bolt of lightning out of nowhere and I cant get that night out of my mind, keep obsessing over what they might have done and how they spent the 4 or 5 hours that they were together outside the venue that night. Sexual coercion falls under the broad umbrella of sexual assault, as does rape. I Kissed Another Guy When I Was Drunk, Should I Tell My Boyfriend? She may mean it now, but maybe next week she wont, but you cannot rely on it..Is it a pattern of distrust? However, if youre vomiting and passing out, then you are not in your right mind at all. They might say theyll hurt someone else: A co-worker or supervisor could threaten to jeopardize your career: Someone might try to convince you to have sex by suggesting that saying no means theres something wrong with you. If, on the other hand, you kissed someone whom you knew or someone your significant other believes youve always liked, and then you confess that you kissed him or her, your actions could have major consequences for your relationship Why? If having sex with a drunk person is rape, then can you cheat while drunk? Things like breakups or losing a loved one can lead to serious feelings, especially when you add alcohol to the mix. Like we said before, drunk kisses arent always fun and games. So, if you shared a drunk kiss with a coworker, friend, or stranger because you were on the rebound, let them know that that was the reason behind it so that no one gets involved. You might feel guilty about it the next day, but it wasnt a big deal. He was so drunk himself that he started singing I Love Paris and, in the middle of the song, he said in a gruff voice, You wanna kiss me? The drunk kiss that led to the shortest relationship of your life is something unique for sure. My husband always encouraged me to pursue music, and, when I told him that this guy wanted to give me advanced piano lessons, my husband was in favor of this. 2023 Healthline Media LLC. When I was in college, I cheated on a bf while I was drunk not because I was drunk, but because I was presented with the opportunity and I wanted wanted to do it. You dont want to lead on an innocent person who likes you or give them the wrong idea. Shes Colombian and very fiery. Sometimes, the other person will say very clearly what theyll do if you dont agree to sex. Drinking alcohol increases testosterone levels in females. We have to keep going., Im so frustrated and stressed, I need this., I said I dont want to have sex. Let them know you have been wanting to kiss them, but the liquid courage is what led you to it that night. Neither does the number of dates youve had, your age, or anything else. This can happen with someone you've never slept with or even dated. Keep reading below to find more! Lol I love you already. If you or your partner were the ones who initiated the kiss, thats a little worse than if it were the other person. So, when he offered me whisky, I happily drank it until I was drunk as a skunk. A guy bought me drinks and he asked me if I wanted to ride his motorcycle to another bar and I did. See what they say. Master Frenching and you'll definitely please your kissing partner. Was this a sexual crime, should my boyfriend be mad and am I to blame? Typically, the difference comes down to a few key factors: Lets say you tell them, Im not feeling it tonight., They reply, Thats OK. Im happy just massaging you, unless you want me to stop.. Perhaps you danced with someone at a party. In short, someone who makes you feel pressured and uncomfortable after youve said no to sex may be trying to coerce you. This recently happened to me. The first kiss is a landmark event in the lives of most individuals. This male sex hormone plays a role in sexual desire. Alcohol was a factor, but all it did was bring to the surface the feelings that were already there. Even if you dont feel comfortable discussing whats going on, having someone to talk to (or better yet, come by for a visit) can help you feel safer and less alone. My hand turns a strange colour throughout the day (with pic) have you had this? Copyright The Student Room 2023 all rights reserved. You dont want to go into a conversation about it before actually knowing what went down. And you can be anywhere in between. I had had an argument with my fianc because I found a suspicious text from a woman , he became very mad . And I think its even worse if you dont tell them about it. Our website services, content, and products are for informational purposes only. And I really think you should move on from this guy. Completely forgot and now I want to tell my boyfriend. A drunk kiss is what it is, but the fallout from it is never simple. What Does It Mean When Someone Kisses You When Drunk? Now, if you drink alcohol of any kind, you know that there are different levels of drunk. You can be slightly tipsy or buzzed, or you could be black-out drunk and on the verge of death. We are planning on getting married very soon. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our. In a committed relationship, My Girlfriend Kissed Another Guy whilst Black-Out Drunk. Its tough to do that in a single evening or from just meeting someone. Or if your drunk kiss was with someone other than your significant other, youll have a bit more following up to do. An innocent kiss usually involves getting so plastered that you lose your inhibitions and someone tries to kiss you and you return the kiss. I kissed another girl while black out drunk, dont remember a thing. I said to my husband, I have something to tell you, but I dont know how to say it.. In some cases, you can ignore it and move on, but others require a bit of patience and communication. If she kissed another guy because you are in a long distance relationship. This all depends on if there are feelings between you or if you are just both extra friendly when drunk. In this article, were using sex as shorthand to describe any and all forms of sexual contact or activity. I cant trust you anymore., You think that having too much to drink made it all right for you to kiss ______? Coercion is often as simple as repeated requests for sex. Please help I just hate my life now! Not only can you hurt a loved one by kissing someone else in a drunken stupor, but you can also hurt a friend by misleading them. I am giving him space to think. Just because someone thinks youre hot or attractive, however, doesnt mean they have deeper feelings for you or want to make a stronger connection. 5. Remember, its your choice, and yours alone, to have sex or not. We aren't together anymore but I still stay in his apartment and we still have sex sometimes but it's not the same and I'm hurting so bad and I know he is too cause he cried about it! At the moment you may have felt a little tipsy but felt fine. When someone keeps offering you drinks with the goal of getting you to agree to sex when drunk, thats coercion. kissed someone else while drunk, did I cheat? - The Student Room I believe that its a good thing to fess up when kissing someone you care about when you drank too much could threaten your existing relationship. With that in mind, you might wonder if its coercion when a partner tells you how sexy you look in that outfit or gives you a sensual massage to try and get you in the mood. At least I understood why our marriage failed and no further closure was needed. How do I explain to my parents I don't want to do medicine? If it was a stranger, you will probably never see them again. You can keep quiet and resolve never to do this again. If you only consent because you want the other person to stop pressuring or threatening you, you didnt really consent. Getting Drunk and Kissing Other People - Ask the Psychologist If you have been together for a long time and have strong trust between the two of you, then maybe it can be forgiven relatively easily. This relentless pestering can also happen in a relationship. My high and drunk boyfriend kissed my close friend. Looking for online college/courses to help me prepare. I'm not saying this to let you off the hook for what you did. Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. Because I already had some unresolved feelings for this guy and I let him kiss me and used the fact that I was drunk as an excuse. Talk to her about it and explain to her how it hurt you to see them kissing. It is possible to keep a woman faithful to you when in a long distance relationship, but if she . Often, you dont need to be that drunk for this kiss to happen. No list of kisses would be complete without the French kiss. But they could try to pressure you into changing your mind about sex by treating you badly until you agree. Are you in trouble if youre in a relationship and you gave someone a drunk kiss? You just have to assess that and answer it for yourself. Cons: 1. A female friend of mine was staying at our house for the weekend. Coercion is often as simple as repeated requests for sex. You werent totally bombed out of your mind, so you realized what you did and you felt guilty about it. Honey, especially in those heels, you're looking at a (long and painful) 20 minute walk, minimum (that's if you're lucky). If the reaction isnt strong, then maybe its okay to confess. In some cases, however, drunk kisses can mean everything. Having sex with a person when they are too drunk to consent has a name: Alcohol facilitated rape and sexual assault and it is against the law. You even said it indirectly in your story, when said you decided to get drunk. All rights reserved. I have never done anything like this before and truly would never again. Or should you address it? What Should You Do If You Regret A Drunk Kiss. If it was just a quick peck on the lips, thats not as big of a deal as if it was an hours-long makeout session. My high and drunk boyfriend kissed my close friend. There's. It could be a friend from work, someone from the gym, or an acquaintance from high school that youre reconnecting with. Need more information on what to do after experiencing coercion? I don't remember the name of everyone I have kissed mostly because it's been decades. However, its not all black and white either. You wanna tell your husband? I could sleep with anyone, and youd never know., Youre probably no good in bed anyway. This can turn into something really messy and unfortunate. The good news is that you can remedy anything with top-notch communication. You dont want to talk to the person about it if you arent exactly sure what happened.